One Sick Tree

If our depression were just one sick tree, it might be something that we could cope with without making life such a disaster, but we live in a forest! Every healthy human being has a fire burning in their woods. A forest with depression has all of the usual trappings in life plus other trees that have fallen, briar patches, and limbs that block the pathways, similar unhealthy trees, and smoldering embers scattered throughout. Every day in depressed woodlands anxiety is prevalent, and it is possible to see psychosis and dissociation. Those three animals are deadly.

Anxiety – that is a sneaky animal.  I think it has hair because I feel it tickling the back of my neck. I’ve been driving down a beautiful woodland path and anxiety attacked me with no warning! There have been tremors and shortness of breath, and a painful tightness in my chest. I am surprised my teeth still exist from the grind of every day. It is a mean creepy creature, and I’m afraid of it. I’ve seen it at Wal-Mart! I wonder if they have it on their security cameras. I dare not chance movie theatres, concert halls or any place where there is a lot of noise. Anxiety loves those places in my forest.

Psychosis-is weird. I’ve only seen it twice, but that was twice too many. That animal convinced me that my son had died. I was picking out a casket and wondering what size suit he wore. He was about 16 at the time. I may have asked him what kind of coffin he wanted.

Dissociation-some folks think that is spelled wrong. I had an English professor edit some of my graduate school work, and she continuously marked it as a misspelling. I understand that because she didn’t know what it was. It is quite a peculiar animal. I experienced it much like a daydream. I heard the birds faintly as I stared across the forest, but I could not interact with them. If it were not for the touch of a bird, I might be stuck in those long still daydreams. Depression loved the empty vision.

My forest is quiet, still, and nearly void of humans. The humans that have ventured into my forest didn’t say long. I’m glad to be rid of them.

Published by: Beverly Hughes

My journey through depression and anxiety has been a long fought battle. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling, but that only helped me to understand clinical language. I needed help and have learned so much about what I could do to help myself.

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