Resisting Need For Help

Let’s face the facts. Humans are stubborn!

I have been seeing doctors and therapists for more than half of my life. My latest cry for help from therapist #6 was in desperation. Even going to see her with so much pain the first few visits didn’t have much therapy. Talking about yourself is hard. Therapy can start out with what you do not who you are.

Seeing a new therapist is frustrating, because it’s like starting all over again. I think I have told my story so many times I wish it was on video. I began my sessions with her by showing her my drawings. She is a very diverse therapist and understood the resistance. Eventually I saw that I could trust her and started doing the work. 

Therapy is a lot like medication. Not every style of therapy works well for you. Luckily, my therapist is very versatile and can see where and when I am getting stuck. She brings out another tool and makes a different approach. I have come to trust her completely. I can say anything to her without fear of judgment, embarrassment, and can take two steps back and one forward without feeling that the therapeutic process is failing. She keeps reminding me that I have been through a lot for a long time, so it will take time to resolve my issues. I feel like she kicks my butt every week, and I need that. I have a Master’s degree in Counseling, so she fired me one day from trying to be my own therapist. I plead guilty.

My advice to everyone who is dealing with depression, anxiety, or any mental health issue is to be proactive in your care and don’t give up. If something isn’t working, try something else, but DON’T stop trying. If you accept your condition with the thought that it will never get any better, you are WRONG!! You would not give up helping your child. Why do you resist getting help for yourself?

Work for yourself. Start every day with a positive thought. I’m going to get better. Do things that you don’t feel like doing. Wash the dishes or the laundry. Clean off the kitchen table (I mention that because ours is always a mess. Flat surfaces in our house catches stuff!). Guys, go check the oil in your car. I often undertake big projects. If I don’t complete them, it is ok. I did something and accomplished something. Thinking that way helps me accept that the unfinished task is finished. Other people may not see what I considered the finished projects would look. I’m not resisting starting something out of a sense that I won’t be able to finish it or that it will not be perfect. (I changed that way of thinking. Therapist #6 was entirely instrumental there.)

Hmmmm. I wonder what therapist #6 would think about her name being therapist #6?

Published by: Beverly Hughes

My journey through depression and anxiety has been a long fought battle. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling, but that only helped me to understand clinical language. I needed help and have learned so much about what I could do to help myself.

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