Warning: The first two paragraphs are a bummer, but it gets better.
There was a time when day after day I spent my time lounging on my parent’s couch covered with a blanket watching the same channel on TV day after day. I may have worn the same clothes even if they were jeans and a t-shirt for weeks. My hair and my teeth were never brushed. Bathing was too much of a chore, and there was no motivation for anything inside of the empty shell I had become. I was a fixture that gathered dust. I was only breathing.
A diagnosis of treatment Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and a bunch of other things that other doctors believed fit were treated with drugs, ECT’s and arts and crafts. Hospital stays included taking away my C-pap machine, my music, my shoelaces, delousing and cavity searches. I was isolated in secure rooms with cameras and on a ward with others who had severe mental disorders that terrified me.
Depression can bring so much heartbreak, embarrassment, and indignity, but nothing done to you or said about you can keep you from working toward recovery. You are reading this blog, so I believe in you. Believe in yourself. I have slipped and fallen many times and sought out the comfy couch, but I regained the resolve to put my mind and energy toward being the best that I can be one step at a time.
There are so many tools on the self-help shelf of the bookstore. You can buy one like I have done dozens of times. I may have more unread self-help books than any of the major bookstores. You need a plan. First – toss away those arts and crafts projects from the hospital stays (I’m just keeping one.) Second – no matter where you are in recovery take time to see where you can make changes to take care of yourself. I started with a bath and clean clothes. You may need a spa treatment. We start from where we are. I wish you a plan for success and progress along the way. Don’t be discouraged. Your goal is in place. Now the plan needs a step three. What is the next step you can make to take care of yourself?