I have always known that I am very introverted and live my life in my head. I often wonder if I had actually said something to someone or if I had only played out the conversation in my head. That makes me wonder if I am not communicating my thoughts or if I am repeating myself. Who knows?
I isolate myself to the point where is little real communication. I have done well conquering my depression with years of medication trials and psychotherapy, but anxiety is constant. I did not realize that my introversion, isolation, and difficulty with conversation was Social Anxiety Disorder. When presented with the symptoms I had to agree. My behavior of avoidance of social situations was fear driven.
Now is the time that my fears have to find a connection with thoughts. I didn’t know that there were thoughts mixed with my fear. My panic attacks felt like physiological responses. I understood the stressors in my life but how do they develop into full-blown panic attacks and drive me to isolation? I bought a four-dollar teddy bear.