I can dream. There will become a day when I can stand humbly before others and be the whole person I was meant to be. I will speak my name without fear of disapproval. I will not be ashamed of that shell of a person that I once was when depression and anxiety consumed my existence. I will not hold fears in my heart. I will be equal with others. I will feel secure from inside myself. That dream will be my reality.
It is a bit late in life to have such a dream, but time is a myth. I was twenty-five at fifteen and ten at thirty. There was no time in my life. There is only time today. Today I choose to be a person who can stand, be humble, and speak with assertiveness. I will no longer give away my sovereignty. I am writing these statements with assertiveness so that I can look back upon them and see myself in that mirror of time and reality.
My favorite singer-songwriter was Harry Chapin. He wasn’t well known except for his hit song, The Cats In The Cradle. I know many of his songs. One of my favorites is Cory’s Coming. Folk songs tell a story, and this one is about an old man who tends a railroad switch for a train that only comes once a week. He tells tall tails to his young friend who begins to doubt their truth. The young man questions the townspeople and he confronts the man with the things others have said. The magic line in the song is, “reality is just a word.” Having studied a couple of wise old philosophers and a bit of science, I have had many long solitary thoughts about reality. Without all of the wise musings or scientific speculations, I have discovered that the only reality we can know is ourselves. As autonomous individuals, we can create our reality.
I had to take over the work of an adult when I was fifteen, and I became childlike in the worst of my depression. There is a reason to question time and reality. A friend posted a piece recently that partially asked the age-old question; If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? That is a question of reality. Consider the possibilities. How does man perceive sound? We can only hear a small portion of the wavelengths that are sound. Dogs can hear higher pitches than man, so our perception of reality is dismissed. There are theories that an aura surrounds all living things, and I met a woman who claimed that she saw a beautiful blue aura around me during a worship service. I’ve read books that claim these colors exist. Is man also limited in the colors that he can perceive? Was the tree part of man’s perception?.
Since I am the only reality that I can know, this time in my life and other people’s perception of my reality is questionable, I can make my reality! I will be the best person I can imagine in my own time. The time I choose is now to become my reality.