Sovereignty

As I look back on the circumstances of my life with the guidance of my therapist, I have discovered that I gave up my power to people who attempted to control me. Instead of doing the things I wanted I let others make decisions for me and willingly went along with their choices for me. I believe that I felt I didn’t have the right to make my own opinion. My Mom was very controlling and overprotective of me. She made decisions, and I followed. I gave up my sovereignty, and that way of thinking became a reoccurring issue in my personal development.

I have rarely felt free. I had another therapist that told me that I would not get better until I “cut the apron strings.” He was right, but I found myself making some poor decisions. I that is to be expected since I had made very few of my own. I learned some things, albeit rather slowly that I could manage most things myself. I put myself in many stressful situations to achieve my rightful identity and succumbed to a deep depression that came at a high price.

I wish to encourage parents to allow their children to fall and scrape a knee or find themselves in difficulties from poor decisions. That is healthy growth. Parents are guides, not dictators. I don’t blame my Mom or the others who led me down a path I would not have chosen for myself. I only wonder what difference it would have made. I was unprepared to live in a world full of people who are untrustworthy or don’t care that their actions hurt others.

I’ve made an important decision. I chose to forgive myself and others. I decided to take my power back and set boundaries that will prevent others from taking my sovereignty. I will look carefully before I trust others because I believe too quickly. Most importantly, I choose to let the past not affect my future.

I admit to you, my friends, that these decisions don’t feel comfortable.

Peace be with you.

Published by: Beverly Hughes

My journey through depression and anxiety has been a long fought battle. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling, but that only helped me to understand clinical language. I needed help and have learned so much about what I could do to help myself.

2 Comments

2 thoughts on “Sovereignty”

  1. This is powerful. The choice to forgive, and to not let the past affect the future, is never an easy one. It comes with pain and an incredible amount of stretching. You are brave for making this choice, and I just want to applaud you for that. God bless ❤

    Like

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