Diagnosis tags seem to follow differences of opinions of the doctors who see you. I have so many tags now that it is difficult to put my arms in my shirt of life. The specific one that has been agreed upon is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It is a covert ping pong ball. It can touch any concern at any time as it bounces around in the enclosed space of my mind. I often am unaware of any trigger, so a panic attack can simply appear without provication. I had accepted its existance as a fact, but my challenging therapist #6 has begun to stir the pot. I often jokingly call her a s### disturber.
My s### needs to be disturbed. The GAD can cause the mood swings of my tag labeled Bipolar Type2. It has been a stumbling block to my growth process, so the poop has to be scooped. It colors my thinking. Theraputic work sometimes is a process of two steps forward and one step back with a cloud of confusion.
Now I have begun working specifically on GAD. I did need the work prior to that on Cognitive Behavioral Theraphy, Self-Esteem, Assertion, and to some extent Social Anxiety Disorder. It is discouraging when the hypomanic phases kick in and turn my thoughts dark and physical activity on high. I see that the things that I thought were facts are beliefs. I can see that this work will be a long process. I may be old and ugly before I resolve it. Oh wait, I’m already old and ugly. Is this a fact or a belief?
Peace be with you, my friends.